MY weekly rant

What is wrong with the citizens in this country.  WE are so brainwashed by the conservatives in politics that Conservatives  will gladly fork over 5 billion for an unnecessary wall, and lie about the number of terrorists crossing the border everyday.   WE hear about how they detest intellectualism, and celebrate stupidity.  How else can you justify the current occupant of the White House.   Well wait a minute Hillary did get 3 million more votes than The Orange Baboon.  But 30 years of lies defeated her, and we can thank Fox News for that. 

This is not to say that Hillary is the best we have,  but she would have been 1000 times better than what we have now.  Too much money in politics and government. Money and power corrupt and no matter who is in Washington it is only a matter of time before they too are corrupt.  Bernie Sanders is probably the exception to that.  Why did this district re elect a man who could only say in his campaign adds how hard a worker he is. Really what did all that hard work produce,  except conspiracy theories and  being oblivious  to the charges of sexual mis conduct at  the Ohio State wrestling program.  Oh right,  he was an OSU wrestler,  was he also one of those targeted?  If that is the case Jimmy, why didn’t you stand with the other victims. 

Donald Trump will go down as the last president of the United States, because we are witnessing the death of this country. Thanks to conservatism and ignorant fools who believed Mexico would pay for the wall.   Sadly my grandchildren will have to deal with a climate that will not be conducive to life and my generation can take credit for this.

 We need to wake up before all is lost.  But we humans are lost and easily led by power grabbing despots. Which is exactly what we have in Donald Trump. 

Princess Crown quilt

Still in the dumps related to my last post.  But to keep my hands busy, I finished up this scrappy quilt from Bonnie Hunter Pattern,  Princess Crown Quilt.

I have had about 2 yards of pick fabric that I had not used and I have not pieced a pink quilt. I started this with the thought I would donate it to the women's crises shelter or someplace where a little girl would find it and love it.

I still have to quilt it,  but I think a lightweight poly will be perfect rather than the 100% cotton batting that I usually use.  So hopefully the backing fabric I ordered will arrive soon and I can get this one completed.

It seems like a normal sad Holiday for me.  Son number one and his drug problem are constantly on my mind.  I feel he has gotten so bad lately that he is on track to lose his job and his life.

So given that intro,  where is there to go from there.  This has been an ongoing problem for over 30 years.  I could write a book about the sorrows I have endured over the past three decades.

I am in a deep funk much of the time.  MY mind cannot get away from the fact that a young man who had so much potential allowed drugs to destroy his life.

There have been multiple trips to rehabs.  And periods of time that he has controlled his urges and stayed clean for as much as 11 months. But the deep darkness of the addiction always resurfaces.

He has been prescribed meds for bi polar, and they seem to help his mood. But he does not take them as he should.  He is in constant search of the next high.  

Because of this,  I have not had one moment of peace, joy or contentment in my life for over 30 years.  And of course one looks back to the past and wonders.  Did I do something to set him on this path of destruction?  

I do not think so. He is an adopted child, the product of a drug addicted natural mother.  And back when we took him into our home to love and raise. The big debate was between "Nature"  and "Nurture"   Back then the consensus was that Nurture would be a more powerful determinant.

I have now learned that is not the case.  The one time, one thing, a priest told me that was truth was when we took Matt to be baptized and the priest said to us. " you know you don't know anything about where this child came from,  you do not know what problems you may have to deal with because of it"

I only wish I could have seen down the road back then,  but I doubt that we would have changed our mind about this baby that we brought home to love and care for.

And he was an amazing child.  I saw no evidence of "drug issues"  in him as a child.  He was an excellent student and athlete, until he found alcohol, and drugs soon followed.   He is a hard worker still and everyone likes him.  He has just thrown away his life for a quick high. And he has no self control over his actions or his urges.  

So here we are 51 years later, and I dread answering the phone or the door, not knowing if it will be the call that I dread coming.

I would caution anyone against adoption because of what we have been through with this child of ours.   But we also have an adopted daughter,  who has not given us any problems her entire life, and is a constant help to us.   WE also have two natural children ,  both doing well, and only minor teenage problems that were not so enormous that they kept them from becoming responsible adults.


Every holiday seems to be filled with sadness for me because of Matt's life choices or his life's urges.  I don't think he can help himself. Which is the nature of drug addiction, I guess.  WE have ceased to help him with any financial support ,  but we have always been here to love him.

SO SAD.

Christmas Blahs

Most of my friends and family have dubbed me the family "Grinch"   And it is well deserved.
For many years,  back to the days when my children were small and Santa was a part of our Christmas... I did not like the Holidays.  

I think it may be partially due to the fact that I did not have any of my family close enough to be able to celebrate together.  So it was always with my spouse's family.  Which was not all that fun for me.

So this year.  I got my CHRISTMAS spirit out of the way early and I stitched up this Rudolph quilt.

Now have to figure out where to put it.  And do I want to put up my tree this year.   I do like to see XMAS decorations and like the soft glow of the tree lights in the evening. And now I have a tree that only requires me to plug it in.  It is decorated and has lights, and I do not have to put them on or take them off.

It is also out in the back yard shed, and we must depend on one of the kids or grandkids to lug it in and after Christmas lug it back out.  Last year it was in my living room well into summer,  before we corralled our oldest son to move it back to the shed.

MY snowmen in the sun rom have found a permanent home on the shelf above the back windows.  It is just too much hassle taking them up and down each season.  When I was younger I changed the décor on that shelf with the seasons.  Now the snowmen are a permanent fixture up there.

Today we hope to hang the newly painted cabinet doors in the kitchen.  That will leave about 2/3 of the kitchen cabinets painted inside and out. And at our age this process is taking much longer than it would have 10 years ago.

Scrapping.

Tuesaday Nov 20

MY spouse just reminded me that tomorrow is my birthday.  OMG  I do not want anymore birthdays.  But since following Dr. Esselstyn's plant based diet,  I am feeling better physically and mentally.
This whole process has been a learning experience.  Experimenting with recipes, and spending a lot of time in the kitchen.  I have been strict,  no meat  or any animal product.  Well oops,  that is not quite true I have cheated with a small amount of cheese on my Skyline veggie 3 way.  YUM YUM  But you just have to top that off with some cheddar.

I made a decision to part with some of the quilts I have put into a stash for my granddaughters after I am gone.   I have quite a few,  baby and kid sized quilts down there.  And just a few days ago I thought,  why not donate these to the women's crises center.  Let someone enjoy them, and get good use out of them.  So I pulled 3 or 4 out of the bin and bagged them up.  I am just waiting until I work with Olivia,  who has a full time job as a counselor at the shelter.

This week I decided to start a scrappy.  Using pinks and purples and yellows.  I spent yesterday cutting most of the pieces for the blocks.  Bonnie HUnter's  Princess Crown block.  This block because of all the seams, takes concentrated precision if the blocks are to turn out in some sort of uniformity.  I only have stitched up 4 of the blocks,  but it will be a good go to project when I want to spend just a little time in the sewing studio.   I can stitch up two or three blocks and then go back to whatever.    Things like cooking,  laundry,  finishing painting the kitchen cabinets.   ETC  ETC.

New lifestyle

After three months on this WFPBN (Whole food plant based nutrition) I have seen my HgbA1C drop from 7.4 to 6.0  below the normal range for diabetics.  And yesterday I saw a 100 point drop in my total cholesterol from April .  It was 214 back then and yesterday it is 107.
IN addition I have also lost 18 lbs.  Feel great.  More energy than I have had in years...

So this will be a short entry, because I have not much more to report.  My spouse has been somewhat following this eating plan. But he still cheats with dairy and an occasional egg for breakfast, and meat if we eat out.   But he does not have the heart issues I have.  He does have more energy and began the process of re doing our kitchen cabinets.  He has the primer coat on several cabinet doors.  Will have to put the final coat on when we return from Cleveland.

The Russian Takeover

July 17, 2018

I am making this note and dating it because I believe this will eventually come out to all of us.
What possible reason could Trump have for giving away the farm. AKA, agreeing with dictators across the planet, while picking fight with our friends and allies?

It seems clear to me,  that Russia aka Putin,  has been grooming Donald Trump for decades for just this role; to install him as the leader the United States of America.  He, Putin,  recognized in Trump many years ago,  a "useful idot"  and he has succeeded.    

Putin lied yesterday at the press conference when he said he did not know Trump was in Russia during the beauty pagent…. Trump was working closely at that time with PUtin's right hand man to arrange a meeting with PUtin,  or at least to get him to attend the Miss Universe pagent.  This is all documented in the book Russian Roulette.  

Today I am hearing commentary that Trump is suffering from dementia.  IN addition to his narcissistic personality disorder, Donald Trump is not of right mind.  If that is indeed the case, then his close friends, family and advisors,  are standing by and allowing a man without the means or the wherewithal to handle the job he was elected to perform.  Those close to him who do not take action to protect this democracy,  are indeed complicit in Trump's actions.   Demented or not,  Trump is now a simple puppet for the Russian autocrat.

Not only the close advisor and family can be held accountable,  but the millions of voters who supported him without bothering to look at the man, his business practices, and his moral character.  When I hear the Russian plan was to divide and conquer us,  I cannot help but say they have been successful, And while I know that as a nation we must stand together,  I cannot forgive or forget the people I thought I knew who chose a man like Donald Trump as their leader.

IF EVER THERE WAS  TIME TO REMOVE REPUBLICANS FROM OFFICE.  Now is the time.  When your loyalty is to a party and not to the country you are not fit to serve.

OUr three branches of government must stand,  we have checks and balances in place to protect us from a Donald Trump.  It is time to put those checks and balances in place for the sake of our children and grandchildren and the planet.