MY weekly rant

What is wrong with the citizens in this country.  WE are so brainwashed by the conservatives in politics that Conservatives  will gladly fork over 5 billion for an unnecessary wall, and lie about the number of terrorists crossing the border everyday.   WE hear about how they detest intellectualism, and celebrate stupidity.  How else can you justify the current occupant of the White House.   Well wait a minute Hillary did get 3 million more votes than The Orange Baboon.  But 30 years of lies defeated her, and we can thank Fox News for that. 

This is not to say that Hillary is the best we have,  but she would have been 1000 times better than what we have now.  Too much money in politics and government. Money and power corrupt and no matter who is in Washington it is only a matter of time before they too are corrupt.  Bernie Sanders is probably the exception to that.  Why did this district re elect a man who could only say in his campaign adds how hard a worker he is. Really what did all that hard work produce,  except conspiracy theories and  being oblivious  to the charges of sexual mis conduct at  the Ohio State wrestling program.  Oh right,  he was an OSU wrestler,  was he also one of those targeted?  If that is the case Jimmy, why didn’t you stand with the other victims. 

Donald Trump will go down as the last president of the United States, because we are witnessing the death of this country. Thanks to conservatism and ignorant fools who believed Mexico would pay for the wall.   Sadly my grandchildren will have to deal with a climate that will not be conducive to life and my generation can take credit for this.

 We need to wake up before all is lost.  But we humans are lost and easily led by power grabbing despots. Which is exactly what we have in Donald Trump. 

Princess Crown quilt

Still in the dumps related to my last post.  But to keep my hands busy, I finished up this scrappy quilt from Bonnie Hunter Pattern,  Princess Crown Quilt.

I have had about 2 yards of pick fabric that I had not used and I have not pieced a pink quilt. I started this with the thought I would donate it to the women's crises shelter or someplace where a little girl would find it and love it.

I still have to quilt it,  but I think a lightweight poly will be perfect rather than the 100% cotton batting that I usually use.  So hopefully the backing fabric I ordered will arrive soon and I can get this one completed.

It seems like a normal sad Holiday for me.  Son number one and his drug problem are constantly on my mind.  I feel he has gotten so bad lately that he is on track to lose his job and his life.

So given that intro,  where is there to go from there.  This has been an ongoing problem for over 30 years.  I could write a book about the sorrows I have endured over the past three decades.

I am in a deep funk much of the time.  MY mind cannot get away from the fact that a young man who had so much potential allowed drugs to destroy his life.

There have been multiple trips to rehabs.  And periods of time that he has controlled his urges and stayed clean for as much as 11 months. But the deep darkness of the addiction always resurfaces.

He has been prescribed meds for bi polar, and they seem to help his mood. But he does not take them as he should.  He is in constant search of the next high.  

Because of this,  I have not had one moment of peace, joy or contentment in my life for over 30 years.  And of course one looks back to the past and wonders.  Did I do something to set him on this path of destruction?  

I do not think so. He is an adopted child, the product of a drug addicted natural mother.  And back when we took him into our home to love and raise. The big debate was between "Nature"  and "Nurture"   Back then the consensus was that Nurture would be a more powerful determinant.

I have now learned that is not the case.  The one time, one thing, a priest told me that was truth was when we took Matt to be baptized and the priest said to us. " you know you don't know anything about where this child came from,  you do not know what problems you may have to deal with because of it"

I only wish I could have seen down the road back then,  but I doubt that we would have changed our mind about this baby that we brought home to love and care for.

And he was an amazing child.  I saw no evidence of "drug issues"  in him as a child.  He was an excellent student and athlete, until he found alcohol, and drugs soon followed.   He is a hard worker still and everyone likes him.  He has just thrown away his life for a quick high. And he has no self control over his actions or his urges.  

So here we are 51 years later, and I dread answering the phone or the door, not knowing if it will be the call that I dread coming.

I would caution anyone against adoption because of what we have been through with this child of ours.   But we also have an adopted daughter,  who has not given us any problems her entire life, and is a constant help to us.   WE also have two natural children ,  both doing well, and only minor teenage problems that were not so enormous that they kept them from becoming responsible adults.


Every holiday seems to be filled with sadness for me because of Matt's life choices or his life's urges.  I don't think he can help himself. Which is the nature of drug addiction, I guess.  WE have ceased to help him with any financial support ,  but we have always been here to love him.

SO SAD.

Christmas Blahs

Most of my friends and family have dubbed me the family "Grinch"   And it is well deserved.
For many years,  back to the days when my children were small and Santa was a part of our Christmas... I did not like the Holidays.  

I think it may be partially due to the fact that I did not have any of my family close enough to be able to celebrate together.  So it was always with my spouse's family.  Which was not all that fun for me.

So this year.  I got my CHRISTMAS spirit out of the way early and I stitched up this Rudolph quilt.

Now have to figure out where to put it.  And do I want to put up my tree this year.   I do like to see XMAS decorations and like the soft glow of the tree lights in the evening. And now I have a tree that only requires me to plug it in.  It is decorated and has lights, and I do not have to put them on or take them off.

It is also out in the back yard shed, and we must depend on one of the kids or grandkids to lug it in and after Christmas lug it back out.  Last year it was in my living room well into summer,  before we corralled our oldest son to move it back to the shed.

MY snowmen in the sun rom have found a permanent home on the shelf above the back windows.  It is just too much hassle taking them up and down each season.  When I was younger I changed the décor on that shelf with the seasons.  Now the snowmen are a permanent fixture up there.

Today we hope to hang the newly painted cabinet doors in the kitchen.  That will leave about 2/3 of the kitchen cabinets painted inside and out. And at our age this process is taking much longer than it would have 10 years ago.

Scrapping.

Tuesaday Nov 20

MY spouse just reminded me that tomorrow is my birthday.  OMG  I do not want anymore birthdays.  But since following Dr. Esselstyn's plant based diet,  I am feeling better physically and mentally.
This whole process has been a learning experience.  Experimenting with recipes, and spending a lot of time in the kitchen.  I have been strict,  no meat  or any animal product.  Well oops,  that is not quite true I have cheated with a small amount of cheese on my Skyline veggie 3 way.  YUM YUM  But you just have to top that off with some cheddar.

I made a decision to part with some of the quilts I have put into a stash for my granddaughters after I am gone.   I have quite a few,  baby and kid sized quilts down there.  And just a few days ago I thought,  why not donate these to the women's crises center.  Let someone enjoy them, and get good use out of them.  So I pulled 3 or 4 out of the bin and bagged them up.  I am just waiting until I work with Olivia,  who has a full time job as a counselor at the shelter.

This week I decided to start a scrappy.  Using pinks and purples and yellows.  I spent yesterday cutting most of the pieces for the blocks.  Bonnie HUnter's  Princess Crown block.  This block because of all the seams, takes concentrated precision if the blocks are to turn out in some sort of uniformity.  I only have stitched up 4 of the blocks,  but it will be a good go to project when I want to spend just a little time in the sewing studio.   I can stitch up two or three blocks and then go back to whatever.    Things like cooking,  laundry,  finishing painting the kitchen cabinets.   ETC  ETC.

New lifestyle

After three months on this WFPBN (Whole food plant based nutrition) I have seen my HgbA1C drop from 7.4 to 6.0  below the normal range for diabetics.  And yesterday I saw a 100 point drop in my total cholesterol from April .  It was 214 back then and yesterday it is 107.
IN addition I have also lost 18 lbs.  Feel great.  More energy than I have had in years...

So this will be a short entry, because I have not much more to report.  My spouse has been somewhat following this eating plan. But he still cheats with dairy and an occasional egg for breakfast, and meat if we eat out.   But he does not have the heart issues I have.  He does have more energy and began the process of re doing our kitchen cabinets.  He has the primer coat on several cabinet doors.  Will have to put the final coat on when we return from Cleveland.

The Russian Takeover

July 17, 2018

I am making this note and dating it because I believe this will eventually come out to all of us.
What possible reason could Trump have for giving away the farm. AKA, agreeing with dictators across the planet, while picking fight with our friends and allies?

It seems clear to me,  that Russia aka Putin,  has been grooming Donald Trump for decades for just this role; to install him as the leader the United States of America.  He, Putin,  recognized in Trump many years ago,  a "useful idot"  and he has succeeded.    

Putin lied yesterday at the press conference when he said he did not know Trump was in Russia during the beauty pagent…. Trump was working closely at that time with PUtin's right hand man to arrange a meeting with PUtin,  or at least to get him to attend the Miss Universe pagent.  This is all documented in the book Russian Roulette.  

Today I am hearing commentary that Trump is suffering from dementia.  IN addition to his narcissistic personality disorder, Donald Trump is not of right mind.  If that is indeed the case, then his close friends, family and advisors,  are standing by and allowing a man without the means or the wherewithal to handle the job he was elected to perform.  Those close to him who do not take action to protect this democracy,  are indeed complicit in Trump's actions.   Demented or not,  Trump is now a simple puppet for the Russian autocrat.

Not only the close advisor and family can be held accountable,  but the millions of voters who supported him without bothering to look at the man, his business practices, and his moral character.  When I hear the Russian plan was to divide and conquer us,  I cannot help but say they have been successful, And while I know that as a nation we must stand together,  I cannot forgive or forget the people I thought I knew who chose a man like Donald Trump as their leader.

IF EVER THERE WAS  TIME TO REMOVE REPUBLICANS FROM OFFICE.  Now is the time.  When your loyalty is to a party and not to the country you are not fit to serve.

OUr three branches of government must stand,  we have checks and balances in place to protect us from a Donald Trump.  It is time to put those checks and balances in place for the sake of our children and grandchildren and the planet.



   

UPdate on Still Breathing

July 16, 12018
Starting week 3 of the plant based diet.  We are both enjoying eating this way.  It is a lot of work,  prepping and cooking all those veggies.  But we are both feeling better for it.

On JUly 4, I was in my sewing room when my cell phone rang.  I looked at the number and it was from Cleveland.  Since I do not know anyone in Cleveland I considered just declining the call but for some reason I answered.  ON the other end I here.  "Is this Sherri?"  my response  yes... "This is Dr. Esselstyn"

I had sent an email to his web site a few days prior asking a question but received an auto "out of office" reply.  So here he was calling me.   He suggested I take the phone to where my spouse was and turn on the speaker. Which I did and Dr. E  talked to us for about 30 minutes about his program. That motivated both Paul and I and we have been Vegans ever since...

I look online and I ordered a cookbook,  but I also enjoy coming up with my own recipes using the flavors we like.  So far,  the vegan chili,  the rice and beans,  and the Big Bean soup are our favorites. Today I got gutsy and tried some desert recipes. The lemon cupcakes were a bust,  but the fudgy brownies  are pretty good.

 Tonight after supper we even went for a short walk at the Reservoir with Sadie... I canot walk very far or very fast, as I am only a few weeks out from my cardiac event. But I find myself getting stronger every day and hope to continue on the course.

I am looking forward to some improved cholesterol numbers when I have my next lab work done, and in the end I hope to be able to drop 20 to 30 lbs.   MY blood sugars are down, my blood pressure is down,  and I am feeling pretty good.

Still breathing

July 2, 2018

WE spent three days in Knoxville TN last week for a deposition in a law suit.  Then arrived home on Thursday late afternoon.  Shortly after getting home as I was out watering my tomato plants I began to have chest pain.

Went inside to take a Nitro.. Did not help,  took another still no relief. Called my spouse who had driven to Sam's to pick up his new glucose meter.  He headed right  home. but told me to call 911 as he was about 10 minutes away.

So I did.  Took them about 8 rings to answer the phone, and in the end my husband beat the squad to my front door. But when they got here they loaded me in the ambulance, then spent about 5 min in my driveway hooking me to monitors and starting an IV line.  All the while I am in severe pain.  

Finally got to the hospital which is only about 10 blocks from my house. And spent another 15 min there before getting some pain relief.  Of course they admitted me. And the follow up labs showed heart damage.. So next day I had a cardiac cath with placement of 2 stents.   Recover  for two days and released on Sunday evening.  

I am probably lucky to be alive as this was my 3rd cardiac event.   But home now and determined to turn things around.  Starting the Esselstyn diet, which is all plant based. No animal products or even vegetable oils.   This is supposed to reverse my heart disease.  I hope so because I am hungry all the time. Without the proteins and fats, to fill your stomach you never feel  satisfied. But I am going to stick with it,,, as I haven't much choice,  I have had too much heart damage and this is the only  plan I have seen that offers me hope.  -+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++It worked for Bill Clinton.

What an eye opener my spouse and I experienced this week.
WE are 72 and 75 respectfully.  WE have been enjoying RVing for many years and are now in our 7th RV.  A 30' Keystone Laredo fifth wheel.  I really love this rig.  It has two slides, which is all one couple really needs.  We use the rig for short trips and for living in for the winter season in either Florida or Arizona.

WE took our first RV trip of the season this week, at East Harbor State Park in Port Clinton OH. WE have been to this park before and enjoy spending a few days each year near  Lake Erie.

So this was our test.. The test of ourselves and how well we could manage driving the RV,  hooking and unhooking the RV,  parking the RV,  and generally living in it for three days.

The driving, and hooking and unhooking and living in,  went fairly well.  But I have always enjoyed taking walks along the lake, and this trip I was just not able to walk very far.  My heart is failing me.  And since that is one of the big attractions for me in RVing,  I was ready to sell it and just accept the fact that we are too old for this lifestyle.

Actually getting there,  parking,  unhooking and setting up,  went fairly well.  But because my spouse does all of the work. it is a stressor for him.  So we made a decision the night before we were to leave for home.   We would sell the rig.   I have been the holdout on this,  because I have really enjoyed the whole RVing experience. But now that I am not able to enjoy the things I did before, like hiking, or eve short walks in the woods.  I am ready to quit.

So we went to bed and slept on that one. The next morning.  we took ourtime,  followed our checklist for prepariong the RV for travel and hooking up.  That went pretty well.  Paul has more trouble hooking the truck to the 5th wheel than he used to,  and I am not good at directing him.  I can tell him which way he has to go but I cannot walk him through it each step at a time. Fortunately our neighbor at the campsite was able to help us and his directions put the truck right where it needed to be,  we hooked up and we pulled out.   But the biggest challenge was ahead of us.   Parking it at my son's home.  That always takes us at least and hour and many times we have had to let him finish the job.

There is a large gravel area at his home. But we have to navigate between the propane tank and some large equipment he has parked in front of the large building on his property.

So on the drive home we discussed our winter plans.  A new day and we were thinking well just maybe we do not have to give this up yet...WE did not go anywhere last winter, and I did not mind spending that time at home. But this year we had planned to make one last trip to Arizona. Stopping in New Mexico for several weeks not far from White Sands National Monument. I was looking forward to this more than Arizona.

It is a four to five day drive from our Ohio home to Arizona. And that is the part I enjoy the most. The driving to our destination. But I do not have to do the driving. I get to relax and enjoy the scenery.  The drive is what stresses my spouse.  He hates pulling into a campground for one night and then leaving early the next morning.   Even though we do not unhook the truck from the rig,  we still hook up the water and the electric and the TV cable if there is any at the campsite.  So we made the decision on the way home from the Lake. WE would not go to Arizona this winter,  or ever again for that matter.

But our next big trip will be to the Upper Penninsula of MI. A trip that I look forward to every year.  This year because of my deteriorating condition is uncertain.  I used to love to hike a trail into the woods to see Lake Superior and waterfalls and rock formations along the lake.  But now I do not know if I will be able to do this. If I cannot I will not enjoy this trip either.

So exactly what does one do to keep enjoying life at this age.  The good stuff is gone.  All I have left it seems is my quilting. And my eyes may not allow me to do that much longer.   So in the end when I lose my vision,  I will be ready for the grave.

Poison Pills

This past week I was sitting in the office of an endocrinologist  in Findlay.  I was seeing him for the first time to manage my diabetes which has been out of control.   I did not realize just how bad I was until I was taking my blood sugar 7 times a day and recording it for the doctor to see.  

While I was waiting to be called back.  I watched a cadre of people,  many females.  Sluggish ,  overweight, and barely able to walk with their walkers to get to a seat.  I had an epiphany at that moment.  

I am on a ton of meds for my heart, plus the diabetes meds.  ( insulin only)  and a thyroid med,  an acid reducer, and a handful of vitamins.  As I was pondering this I thought,  I bet that most of the people in this waiting room are also on a ton of meds, and have been like me for some time.
WE are all taking this pile of meds everyday and no one is getting any better. We just get worse.  Or so it seems to me.  So I thought... Why am I taking all of these poison pills that the pharmaceutical industry has put out there and my doctor pushes on me?  I know I have health issues,  heart disease,  and diabetes to name a couple. And I know that one of these is going to kill me,  so in that epiphany moment.  I accepted that I am going to die from one of these conditions, so why should I pay the drug companies to kill me quicker with their poison.  

I decided at that moment I was not going to take anymore medications. Well almost none.  I still take the thyroid pill as I believe that does help me,  and  if I don't  take the Omeperazole,  I will be so miserable with heartburn I will want to die quickly.   The next day I did not take any of my meds or the vitamin supplements. And that day I felt better than I have for months.  My brain fog was gone,  the aches and pains and tiredness were also gone.   I exercised at the gym, and walked the dog at the reservoir. I did a few household chores, and all of this without having to sit down and rest my aching back every 5 minutes.  ( the back pain BTW has been gone since last MOnday..)

I began to use the new insulin that the endocrinologist ordered, and my blood sugars are returning to normal  levels.  I am still feeling well and this is day 5 without any heart meds, blood pressure meds,  water pills,  blood thinners,  etc. etc.   I do need to take my blood pressure just to make sure it is not going off the charts. But I am amazed at how good I have felt all week.

I have not decided whether to tell my cardiologist about this new direction I am taking.  He is a middle eastern male, and I don't think he respects women's opinions too much.  He has been hounding me to take anti cholesterol meds for years.  I tried Statins,  nearly everyone out there,  and they give me such horrible muscle cramps I cannot sleep at night as I am too busy jumping out of bed and dancing around trying to stamp out the Charlie horse in my legs.   I also developed rib cramps.  If I would turn the wrong way or sometimes just sitting I would get a cramp in my ribs. Which required me to get into all kinds of stretching positions to relieve.  I never had rib cramps before those damn statins.   IN fact even after stopping them I had the rib cramps for several months. I think they are finally gone, haven't had one in some time... But they were very annoying....

Anyway the cardiologist wanted me to take a new anti cholesterol med ,  Repatha, an injectable.  WEll after careful assessment by whoever and my insurance company I was approved for it. But the co pay was going to be several hundred dollars a month. So I am definitely not taking that.   I have not broken the news to my cardio doc.  But here again,  this is a new drug, probably not fully tested, and who know what the side effects are I am not paying $200 per month for the pharmaceutical company to kill me.

The one point I scored for the new doc.  was when he asked me why I wasn't on an anti cholesterol med and I explained all this and told him about the Repatha.  He kind of chuckled and said  " I bet you can't affor that one.  I don't prescribe it to my patients because it is so expensive. "  He moved up a notch or two after that comment. However the new med  a rapid acting insulin he prescribed will cost me about $130 per month. But I figured in order to save my limbs, my eyes and my kidneys it was probably worth it...

So that's my story today.  I f I haven't died of heart failure next week I will post an update.

THE DANGERS OF CAPITALISM.

After spending several minutes looking for a link to delete my facebook account,  it magically appeared.  I think when I finally got through to whatever person is in charge of this at FB ,  I got the link. So now in 14 days my account will be deleted.

But what will they do with my information in that 14 days. Are they sitting around their desks at the FB offices thinking... How can we make a bit more money on this person who has deleted her account?  Who can I sell her data to? WE better do it quickly because in 14 days it will be gone.

This is what I envision happening at Facebook.  Do I have a problem with trust?? You bet I do.  I recently read "Shock Doctrine"  and :'No"  by Naomi Klein, and if you want to see how we are losing our democracy and our comfortable middle class lives,  read either of these books.

tt is pure unadulterated capitalism, at the cost of everyone,  and even the planet that will bring about the end of our world. And even for the very rich, who have the money to relocate to an AREA  of the country that is safe from rising sea levels. Eventually their lives will end to

But the point is,  if we all work together,  if the wealthy invest their massive resources in working toward a solution, then we will all be better off.  But in the end I suspect money,  greed and private enterprise will win out. And we have been brainwashed into thinking that privatization is better. Well it is not better. There is no accountability in the private sector,  other than to keep growing the bottom line. So whatever has to be done to do that... cut corners,  refuse health care,  put toxic substances into the air, water and food supply, to increase production,,, then that is ok in their world. But it is not ok in yours and mine.  WE have to get away from this idea that the private sector can do everything better.

How to make money on the backs of gullible women.

I just don't get it.  Everyone seems to be getting into the skin care business.   Paula Deen,  JoAnna Gaines,of Fixer Upper,  Duck Dynasty's momma, and I thought I read Faith Hill was jumping in as well.

Are we so superficial,  that the promise of younger looking skin is worth breaking our budget to achieve.  I fell for it on a sample trial,  and today discovered somewhere in the fine print I had agreed to joining auto delivery.  and was billed $83.00 for one product, and there were two notifications  in my Inbox this morning.

News Flash.  I buy a large jar of Retinol for around $15.00 at Sam';s and it does as well as any other over priced cream I have tried.

If you want an interesting look into just how foolish women can be.  Read  "Crimes Against the Book Club"  which deals with this issue......

Finished piecing the top today. Quite proud of myself.  the sides all measure the same.  Amazing when I think of how many seams are in this quilt top.

I began working on a Bonnie HUnter scrap quilt,"Carolina Chain"  several months ago. I kept it in a box, and worked on the blocks when I wanted to sew something small and quick.  Somedays I feel like I want to be with my sewing machine, but I do not want to begin a large project, I have so many "large projects"  already in boxes waiting to be finished or quilted or bound.  So in my quest to finish some of those UFO's I pulled out the Carolina Chain. Making the blocks is fun and easy, and NO Triangle blocks.

Although I love the look of triangle blocks in a quilt. Those are the blocks I have the most trouble making uniform. After trying several different methods I have found that my accucuquilt dies are the most helpful in getting my blocks uniform in size. But of course I only have a limited block size with the accuquilt die.

Since last week I have been laying out the blocks on this project. The pattern calls for them to be set "on  point"  and I have only made one other quilt with blocks on point.  This week I discovered why.  Since I have no space in my sewing room for a permanent design wall  ( too many windows)  I must use a temporary one, of a flannel backed vinyl table cloth I purchased at the Dollar Tree.  It works great for small projects,  but this quilt is too large to layout on the table cloth.  So I start a row or two on the table cloth then sew those blocks together, and move it all to the floor of my sunroom. I have spent a lot of time "unsewing"  and re stitching because keeping the blocks in the correct order and orientation and the correct number in each row is a challenge.  But today I finished sewing all the blocks in to rows, tomorrow I will stitch the rows together,., And Voila,, I will have a quilt top.

Oh BTW the ladder. That is in waiting for me to take the snowmen off the shelf above my windows.  But now that I think about it...Heck it is April, so I just may do what I did last year... Leave them up and they will be ready for next Christmas.