What an eye opener my spouse and I experienced this week.
WE are 72 and 75 respectfully.  WE have been enjoying RVing for many years and are now in our 7th RV.  A 30' Keystone Laredo fifth wheel.  I really love this rig.  It has two slides, which is all one couple really needs.  We use the rig for short trips and for living in for the winter season in either Florida or Arizona.

WE took our first RV trip of the season this week, at East Harbor State Park in Port Clinton OH. WE have been to this park before and enjoy spending a few days each year near  Lake Erie.

So this was our test.. The test of ourselves and how well we could manage driving the RV,  hooking and unhooking the RV,  parking the RV,  and generally living in it for three days.

The driving, and hooking and unhooking and living in,  went fairly well.  But I have always enjoyed taking walks along the lake, and this trip I was just not able to walk very far.  My heart is failing me.  And since that is one of the big attractions for me in RVing,  I was ready to sell it and just accept the fact that we are too old for this lifestyle.

Actually getting there,  parking,  unhooking and setting up,  went fairly well.  But because my spouse does all of the work. it is a stressor for him.  So we made a decision the night before we were to leave for home.   We would sell the rig.   I have been the holdout on this,  because I have really enjoyed the whole RVing experience. But now that I am not able to enjoy the things I did before, like hiking, or eve short walks in the woods.  I am ready to quit.

So we went to bed and slept on that one. The next morning.  we took ourtime,  followed our checklist for prepariong the RV for travel and hooking up.  That went pretty well.  Paul has more trouble hooking the truck to the 5th wheel than he used to,  and I am not good at directing him.  I can tell him which way he has to go but I cannot walk him through it each step at a time. Fortunately our neighbor at the campsite was able to help us and his directions put the truck right where it needed to be,  we hooked up and we pulled out.   But the biggest challenge was ahead of us.   Parking it at my son's home.  That always takes us at least and hour and many times we have had to let him finish the job.

There is a large gravel area at his home. But we have to navigate between the propane tank and some large equipment he has parked in front of the large building on his property.

So on the drive home we discussed our winter plans.  A new day and we were thinking well just maybe we do not have to give this up yet...WE did not go anywhere last winter, and I did not mind spending that time at home. But this year we had planned to make one last trip to Arizona. Stopping in New Mexico for several weeks not far from White Sands National Monument. I was looking forward to this more than Arizona.

It is a four to five day drive from our Ohio home to Arizona. And that is the part I enjoy the most. The driving to our destination. But I do not have to do the driving. I get to relax and enjoy the scenery.  The drive is what stresses my spouse.  He hates pulling into a campground for one night and then leaving early the next morning.   Even though we do not unhook the truck from the rig,  we still hook up the water and the electric and the TV cable if there is any at the campsite.  So we made the decision on the way home from the Lake. WE would not go to Arizona this winter,  or ever again for that matter.

But our next big trip will be to the Upper Penninsula of MI. A trip that I look forward to every year.  This year because of my deteriorating condition is uncertain.  I used to love to hike a trail into the woods to see Lake Superior and waterfalls and rock formations along the lake.  But now I do not know if I will be able to do this. If I cannot I will not enjoy this trip either.

So exactly what does one do to keep enjoying life at this age.  The good stuff is gone.  All I have left it seems is my quilting. And my eyes may not allow me to do that much longer.   So in the end when I lose my vision,  I will be ready for the grave.

Poison Pills

This past week I was sitting in the office of an endocrinologist  in Findlay.  I was seeing him for the first time to manage my diabetes which has been out of control.   I did not realize just how bad I was until I was taking my blood sugar 7 times a day and recording it for the doctor to see.  

While I was waiting to be called back.  I watched a cadre of people,  many females.  Sluggish ,  overweight, and barely able to walk with their walkers to get to a seat.  I had an epiphany at that moment.  

I am on a ton of meds for my heart, plus the diabetes meds.  ( insulin only)  and a thyroid med,  an acid reducer, and a handful of vitamins.  As I was pondering this I thought,  I bet that most of the people in this waiting room are also on a ton of meds, and have been like me for some time.
WE are all taking this pile of meds everyday and no one is getting any better. We just get worse.  Or so it seems to me.  So I thought... Why am I taking all of these poison pills that the pharmaceutical industry has put out there and my doctor pushes on me?  I know I have health issues,  heart disease,  and diabetes to name a couple. And I know that one of these is going to kill me,  so in that epiphany moment.  I accepted that I am going to die from one of these conditions, so why should I pay the drug companies to kill me quicker with their poison.  

I decided at that moment I was not going to take anymore medications. Well almost none.  I still take the thyroid pill as I believe that does help me,  and  if I don't  take the Omeperazole,  I will be so miserable with heartburn I will want to die quickly.   The next day I did not take any of my meds or the vitamin supplements. And that day I felt better than I have for months.  My brain fog was gone,  the aches and pains and tiredness were also gone.   I exercised at the gym, and walked the dog at the reservoir. I did a few household chores, and all of this without having to sit down and rest my aching back every 5 minutes.  ( the back pain BTW has been gone since last MOnday..)

I began to use the new insulin that the endocrinologist ordered, and my blood sugars are returning to normal  levels.  I am still feeling well and this is day 5 without any heart meds, blood pressure meds,  water pills,  blood thinners,  etc. etc.   I do need to take my blood pressure just to make sure it is not going off the charts. But I am amazed at how good I have felt all week.

I have not decided whether to tell my cardiologist about this new direction I am taking.  He is a middle eastern male, and I don't think he respects women's opinions too much.  He has been hounding me to take anti cholesterol meds for years.  I tried Statins,  nearly everyone out there,  and they give me such horrible muscle cramps I cannot sleep at night as I am too busy jumping out of bed and dancing around trying to stamp out the Charlie horse in my legs.   I also developed rib cramps.  If I would turn the wrong way or sometimes just sitting I would get a cramp in my ribs. Which required me to get into all kinds of stretching positions to relieve.  I never had rib cramps before those damn statins.   IN fact even after stopping them I had the rib cramps for several months. I think they are finally gone, haven't had one in some time... But they were very annoying....

Anyway the cardiologist wanted me to take a new anti cholesterol med ,  Repatha, an injectable.  WEll after careful assessment by whoever and my insurance company I was approved for it. But the co pay was going to be several hundred dollars a month. So I am definitely not taking that.   I have not broken the news to my cardio doc.  But here again,  this is a new drug, probably not fully tested, and who know what the side effects are I am not paying $200 per month for the pharmaceutical company to kill me.

The one point I scored for the new doc.  was when he asked me why I wasn't on an anti cholesterol med and I explained all this and told him about the Repatha.  He kind of chuckled and said  " I bet you can't affor that one.  I don't prescribe it to my patients because it is so expensive. "  He moved up a notch or two after that comment. However the new med  a rapid acting insulin he prescribed will cost me about $130 per month. But I figured in order to save my limbs, my eyes and my kidneys it was probably worth it...

So that's my story today.  I f I haven't died of heart failure next week I will post an update.